💖 Dollface 💔

Ever fallen in love with a goddess

Your longest crush

The Rihanna to ur timberlake

Maybe We found each other when the time was right

I know I love her but our energies never understood this

She would travel just to get to see us reunite and share our love even if it was one day in a week

We wud spend our time at resorts next to the summer breeze by the pool side

Where I wud make my love known to her in all sorts of creativity

from the stars

to art

to fruit and tree carvings

to designs only she would love

She was all I could think about,

Everywhere I saw a letter (V) I would remember she was not next to me

She had this resemblance to Rihanna which everyone teased her about

I guess that’s why I don’t have any of her songs on my Playlist

We were a perfect match

We had matching necklaces

I was the moon to her star

Happy as can be we were

I was always the hyped one, she was my silent lover

I was a daredevil and she was my nurse, my conscience

U cud say she was the cautionary concept to my daredevil soul

Like every couple we would fight, kiss and makeup,

Sometimes I think I love her so much that whenever I messed up I would lean to the fact that Cupid would cover it up

Ever think that your ex is the reason your relationship dropped,

Till u hear the entire story,

I had flaws and no denying she had has,

But I never got to realise mine in time, am the reason she left.

am sorry Dollface

Our relationship was at a point where we had not gained the maturity to handle our issues let alone realise our mistakes

I was a jealous quite overprotective boyfriend at the time

a crazy romantic

but since then i never found smn like her that cud make me go the extra mile to impress her

From then I learnt a lot about life and I had to mature to adapt to the times where being savage and cold was the best defense.

I just got to a point where I put past the hate between lovers

and understood the parts of the play we chose to play

Just as Shakespeare said

I called her doll face, cause she was the angel who had won my heart in ways I don’t think anyone would ever that’s why I think I have been fighting this long

The first time I ever gave my all out of my many relations,

Months passed and one thing she was not sure about was communicating her feels

We fought a lot and it became really ugly, I, we made some harsh statements and decisions

This gave me lucid dreams I had no control off

I stressed up, got depressed at one point I cried the entire night even the howling wolves gave me a pass,

I even resorted to some sleeping pills just to be at peace for a while

Crying for a Swert hardly ever happens this is how gruesome it was, I came to love her more than I did me

I would burn up and trust me my state of mind was all set up for rehab

I was obsessed

I loved her and I still do now

I got crazy as the days passed

Called her from different cells, she would not respond

I even traveled to her hometown and used all the hints I cud to find her,

the blue gate,

her siblings school to no avail,

She already lost the passion we had to love

All in the name of love I kept fighting

I had one last affection of love, music

She loved the violin so much when we were together and I thought if I got her that she wud understand how much I was willing to fix us back

Trust me my friends would be against it

that’s why I kept it to myself

I was willing to accept any verdict she had

Even if she said no I was ready for it, she was worth all the happiness I cud manage to give her

She is tough, stubborn and such a masterpiece with a beautiful family

That’s why am attracted to her, let alone her divine beauty

When I lost her I lost a part of me and I don’t mean this in the literal sense

I did lose a huge part of my personality

I was this nice guy who believed in love and one of the craziest romantics ever

I was the sun to a fading heart

I lost positivity, I lost sense of who I was

I hated love and fell into a stage of rebounds

I lost my humble and persuasiveness and became proud and arrogant

I stopped believing in love, I stopped embracing and having the respect I had for our amazing women in the sense of love

I turned to the dark side

I went all Dath vader

I lost myself

Took a while to reinvent myself again, I was never used to losing in life

One thing she thought me was patience, understanding and my worth, she made me become stronger, a fighter, a wall never broken down,she made me find a new way of living, she made me who Iam now

I had to turn to adrenaline to try to forget the pain, I went out bungee jumping, horse riding, learnt to longboard, racing track, became a kizomba dance instructor

But every time I was idle or alone I remembered her

How I wish we were dating now, show her how much of a man I grew to be

Show her she is the only one I can be with

I still have our folder and since her I have never moved on or found anyone I could commit to longterm, am cool with being a lonecub

I feel and know she has moved on but if she ever came back to me

No one would ever make her go away again even my own flaws

I know better

Its still a fantasy

She is my blood diamond,my dollface

I still love you 😫

Art by Rafael Marinetti👌